Latest News

  1. Google Announces Web-Based Pie and Mash

    Search engine giant Google has achieved another technological feat by unveiling the world’s first online pie and mash shop.

    The announcement is being seen by analysts as another attempt by the software behemoth to cash in on gaps left open by its rivals, including Microsoft and Apple, in the ...

  2. Bruce Springsteen Declared Sharia Compliant

    caption “These are all mine,” says judge

    In a major blow to shirt-wearing rifle patriots across the lower states, hero Bruce Springsteen was declared compatible with the teachings of the Koran by the UK’s foremost Sharia court.

    The Boss was said to be “intrigued” by the fatwa, which will ...

  3. Sir Richard Branson unveils Virgin University

    After its worst financial year in over six months, Nottingham Trent could be a target of a takeover bid by Virgin to rescue and rebrand the struggling educational establishment.

    Sir Richard Branson, the volant Chairman of the Virgin Group, says he has “tremendous plans” for the instituion, but isn’t ...

  4. 40-Year-Old Beatles Songs Discovered In The Charts

    Music pundits and the listening public alike were feeling fine today as Apple Corp announced the discovery of hundreds of Beatles songs in the upper reaches of the Top 40. However, experts have expressed doubts as to their authenticity.

    The initial announcement of the discovery was made by James Female ...

  5. American TV Show Writers Accidentally Write Plot

    While desperately searching for the next question, writer Paul O’Paulsky stumbled upon an answer. This weekend viewers of Ambigous Situation will find themselves in a slightly reduced state of bewilderment after they see the newest episode.

    I guess it had to happen eventually,” O’Paulsky said in a packed ...

  6. Ashes Series In Chaos After Mishap

    The Ashes test series between England and Australia was thrown into disarray this afternoon after it was revealed that the urn had been knocked over last night and its contents lost.

    The news was revealed at a joint press conference given today by the English and Australian team captains and ...

  7. Business Chiefs Announce Merger

    Excitement was approaching today when the leaders of two of Britain’s largest companies announced that they were going to meld together.

    David Axe, CEO of Corporate Leisure Impalements, and Bill String, chairman of Liquid-Based Ethanol Endrinkment Solutions Ltd, spoke today at a joint press conference revealing their intentions to ...

  8. Economic Crisis Forces Golf Courses to Reduce Number Of Holes

    Mild reductions of bonuses at large financial companies, caused by stern headlines in the Daily Mail, have curtailed the feel-good fancy free attitudes of bankers everywhere, and it’s the golf courses who are suffering.

    Once, hitting the fairway was enough to avoid the obstacles, but old favourites like the ...

  9. Field Geologist Considers Lunch

    Experienced geologist Dr Petro Logical, 46, revealed yesterday to his field colleagues that he was thinking about putting down his hammer and having some lunch.

    Dr Logical, based in Wapping, was in Canada at the time of the incident, investigating speciments of Nectocaris in part of the Burgess Shale Formation ...

  10. John Lewis Decimates Business Landscape With “2.0” Bombshell

    The John Lewis Partnership today announced plans to revolutionise retail by updating the business model of their 27 department stores across the UK to catch up to the Internet age.

    As of the 31st of August, the stores will distribute their products for free, while advertising will be the sole ...

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