Shadow Minister: Government has "eaten all the pies"
Mon, 30 Mar 2009
Parliament yesterday erupted into chaos after a member of the shadow cabinet accused the current Government of having eaten "all the pies".
Environment Minister Admits "I Have No Idea What I'm Doing"
Fri, 27 Mar 2009
At a shiny press conference this morning, Vera O'Rally-Spectacular, Minister for the Environment, confessed that she had no clue as to how to perform her role effectively.
Bruce Springsteen Declared Sharia Compliant
Mon, 23 Mar 2009
In a major blow to shirt-wearing rifle patriots across the lower states, hero Bruce Springsteen was declared compatible with the teachings of the Koran by the UK's foremost Sharia court.
Punctuation Error Causes Train Derailment
Fri, 20 Mar 2009
17 people were injured, some lightly, when a commuter train derailed at Tring this morning, causing widespread delays across the entire rail network and to some shipping lanes.
Minister Criticised for 'Bashing Bishop'
Mon, 16 Mar 2009
Shock and awe spread throughout the House of Commons yesterday as the Minister for Mammals, David Spert, was heard making derogatory remarks about a senior member of the Church of England.
Business Chiefs Announce Merger
Fri, 13 Mar 2009
Excitement was approaching today when the leaders of two of Britain's largest companies announced that they were going to meld together.
Economic Crisis Forces Golf Courses to Reduce Number Of Holes
Wed, 11 Mar 2009
Mild reductions of bonuses at large financial companies, caused by stern headlines in the Daily Mail, have curtailed the feel-good fancy free attitudes of bankers everywhere, and it's the golf courses who are suffering.
'Things not what they used to be,' says study
Mon, 09 Mar 2009
A study recently commissioned by the British Legion has confirmed that several aspects of modern culture such as fashion, values and mainstream music have changed over the last six decades.
Telescope Discovers Earth-Like "Sauna World"
Thu, 05 Mar 2009
An astronomical telesope in the Canary Islands has discovered the first known health spa on an extra-solar planet, it was reported this week.
Runcorn Honoured in Video Game Legacy
Mon, 02 Mar 2009
Locals to the Cheshire town of Runcorn today received news of an accolade of a very high order as they were chosen as the namesake of a new character in the Pokemon video game series, produced by Nintendo.