WAFTI News

Darling Budget Scuppers Plans to Run Cars on Cider

Wed, 24 Mar 2010 15:00 GMT

The rising practice of circumventing UK fuel duty by converting vehicles to run on cider has come under attack from Chancellor Alistair Darling in his final Budget before the election.

New archæological finds dispute existence of Wales

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 09:00 GMT

A lacklustre archæological excavation conducted near the bantam town of Ross-on-Wye, Hertfordshire, by local serfs has unearthed significant evidence to dispute the long-held-until-today claim that Wales exists.

Virgin birth prompts review of abstinence-only programmes

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 09:00 GMT

Judean officials have confirmed reports of a pregnant teenager giving birth today despite new abstinence-only programmes now entering their second year of running.

Sony Music Entertainment achieves UK Christmas #1

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 09:00 GMT

In a neck and neck dash for the country's most pretigious award, Sony Music Entertainment finally came out on top with the UK best-selling single for Christmas over close rival: Sony Music Entertainment.

Local authorities remove oxygen from town centres

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 09:00 GMT

Millions of proud Britons all over England, and some parts of Wales, have not only been disallowed from celebrating Christmas by the government, but are now being told that they are no longer allowed to respire with oxygen - our national gas for centuries.

Tory Party's Nanny In Fraudulent Claims Kerfuffle

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 09:00 GMT

The Conservative Party's last remaining woman of toil has been forced to defend her conduct after it emerged that she has been accused of financial indiscretions regarding her second home.

40-Year-Old Beatles Songs Discovered In The Charts

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 08:00 GMT

Music pundits and the listening public alike were feeling fine today as Apple Corp announced the discovery of hundreds of Beatles songs in the upper reaches of the Top 40. However, experts have expressed doubts as to their authenticity.

Sir Richard Branson unveils Virgin University

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 08:00 GMT

After its worst financial year in over six months, Nottingham Trent could be a target of a takeover bid by Virgin to rescue and rebrand the struggling educational establishment.

Leading Shampoo Brands now "More Nutritious than Cereal"

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 08:00 GMT

News has emerged this morning that the nutritional content of shampoo is often higher than that of breakfast cereals.

Man arrested for killing his mother in Essex

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 08:00 GMT

An unbalanced man from the village of Tilty, Essex wanted for murdering his own mother in the county last week was picked up by Northumberland authorities today as he was attempting to flee to France.

Government looks to glasses ban to curb violence

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 08:00 GMT

Despite protests from those not so keen on the idea, the Government squeezed out an early day movement this morning that looks to ban glasses in pubs by 2011.

John Lewis Decimates Business Landscape With "2.0" Bombshell

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 08:00 GMT

The John Lewis Partnership today announced plans to revolutionise retail by updating the business model of their 27 department stores across the UK to catch up to the Internet age.

East London DIY Shop Reported As Difficult To Locate

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 08:00 GMT

The blackened, sooty streets of Shadwell
Glowed in ochre, dingy dark
and twisted, inky shades were formed
with Lucifer's heretic mark...

Were Vikings the first on the moon?

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 08:00 GMT

The authenticity of 15th century Viking map clearly depicting the moon five centuries before Neil Armstrong's arrival has been confirmed by a great Dane.