Articles by Ross

  1. Shadow Minister: Government has “eaten all the pies”

    Parliament yesterday erupted into chaos after a member of the shadow cabinet accused the current Government of having eaten “all the pies”.

    Such claims came from the right honourable David Mouse, MP for Taunton’s cider farms, in the light of recent controversy over the number of pies MPs have ...

  2. Sony Music Entertainment achieves UK Christmas #1

    In a neck and neck dash for the country’s most pretigious award, Sony Music Entertainment finally came out on top with the UK best-selling single for Christmas over close rival: Sony Music Entertainment.

    The surprise win was part of a campaign on Facebook and other social networking sites to ...

  3. Local authorities remove oxygen from town centres

    Millions of proud Britons all over England, and some parts of Wales, have not only been disallowed from celebrating Christmas by the government, but are now being told that they are no longer allowed to respire with oxygen - our national gas for centuries.

    The new measures were drawn up by ...

  4. Man arrested for killing his mother in Essex

    An unbalanced man from the village of Tilty, Essex wanted for murdering his own mother in the county last week was picked up by Northumberland authorities today as he was attempting to flee to France.

    Mr. Alan Tiledamage — a Geography teacher at Braintree Upper School — was a primary suspect after ...


    Mon 07 September 2009
    By Ross
  5. Government looks to glasses ban to curb violence

    Despite protests from those not so keen on the idea, the Government squeezed out an early day movement this morning that looks to ban glasses in pubs by 2011.

    The Home Office insists the idea is “fine” and that they “really know what they’re doing here.”

    Last year in ...


    Mon 31 August 2009
    By Ross
  6. Were Vikings the first on the moon?

    The authenticity of 15th century Viking map clearly depicting the moon five centuries before Neil Armstrong’s arrival has been confirmed by a great Dane.

    The map has been terribly controversial since its discovery in 1988, at which time it was dismissed as Roman Catholic tomfoolery intended to discredit Christopher ...

  7. Anniversary of Moon Landing Reignites Conspiracy Claims

    Previously waning lunacy was in full view this month as the 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 mission sparked up fresh controversy over whether or not the moon was faked.

    On July 20th, 1969, the United States landed the first white, male human beings on the surface of the Earth ...

  8. Monkeys excel at grammar

    Studies on monkeys have shown their grasp of grammar to outshine that of the average 14-16 year old.

    The journal Monkey Tales has today published research in which cotton-top tamarins were able to spot incorrect syntax and word usage far better than the average GCSE student.

    They familiarised the monkeys ...

  9. OED to remove word “gullible”

    It’s been the time-honoured joke of the schoolyards, workplaces and even safari parks: “gullible is not in the dictionary.” The irony stems from the fact that only the gullible would believe such a claim, but the Oxford English Dictionary team are seeking to bring an end to this long-running ...

  10. Runcorn Honoured in Video Game Legacy

    Locals to the Cheshire town of Runcorn today received news of an accolade of a very high order as they were chosen as the namesake of a new character in the Pokemon video game series, produced by Nintendo.

    Nintendo will be releasing Pokemon: The Silver Jubilee Edition in Autumn this ...


    Mon 02 March 2009
    By Ross

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