Famous Singer Caught Banking in Public Toilets

Tue 07 April 1998
By Ross

The entertainment industry shat itself this morning when reports leaked out that a famous singer had been arrested last night for financial indecency.

The singer could not be named for aural reasons, but details of the case so far indicate that the celebrity was found by authorities banking in the cubicle of recently constructed public amenities near York Minster.

The new York public toilet facilities were certainly not intended for such use,” rants Martin McBee, Head of the Flushable Facilities Department of York council, speaking through an interpreter.

Wee intend to flush out all of these types from our cistern. We will not duck away from this toilet issue. This man may be a celebrity, but he made a fecal mistake thinking we would not prosecute such behaviour. Bogbrush.”

Police sources have confirmed the man was found committing indecent financial acts at approximately 23:02 last night.

There were reports that people patronising the urinals could hear the distinct sound of hard selling,” confirms the first man we found wearing a policeman’s helmet.

A call was logged with the local constabulary and upon arrival, we apprehended the man before his third return on investment.”

A official police statement released today reminds people that those wishing to bank would be best advised to do it at home.