McDonalds Sues Man

Tue 03 February 2015
By ChrisH

McDonalds, the most litigious company in the universe, have sued a Scottish man because his name contains the prefix “Mc”.

A company spokesman said “He’s gay.”

WAFTI would like to point out that McDonald’s spokesmen are in no meaningful way homophobic, that McDonald’s is not necessarily the most litigious company in the universe, and that whilst the company may sometimes break child labour laws, mislead the public over the contents of its products and implement a Blairite 45-minute policy on dining, it is, in many ways, of fundamental importance to British society.

In other news, Conservative leader David Cameron has recently stated that British society is ‘broken’. This pronouncement marks the first and only time that WAFTI will ever side itself with the fawning, preening, amoral, jumped-up, bandwagon-leaping, superlatively misguided, may-I-polish-your-curling-irons-Mrs-Thatcher cringeworthy, brain-bloated piece of abject pomposity Mr Cameron.

WAFTI would also like to point out that it is quite possible that a McJobsworth will identify the above headline and opening paragraph as something warranting a vastly expensive and frivolous lawsuit, which, given McDonald’s previous litigation record against smaller business interests, would be nothing short of sheer moronic pointlessness. However, we will not. We would like to apologise for any intentional hurt caused.