Minister Criticised for “Bashing Bishop”

Thu 29 January 2015
By Ross

Shock and awe spread throughout the House of Commons yesterday as the Minister for Mammals, David Spert, was heard making derogatory remarks about a senior member of the Church of England.

The exact wording is yet to be confirmed by HP sources, but the minister’s comments are claimed to have been derisory towards the hat belonging to Bishop John Thomas.

Anglican officials are said to be “deeply offended” by the comments which they claim to have asserted their hats to be “almost as silly” as their faith.

We can all take a joke as much as the next religion,” claims Gregory Peck, a church spokesman. “But, we draw the line when the seriousness of our commitment to dress sense is brought into question.”

Some have compared the incident to comments made last year by the Home Secretary over ill-fitting Jewish footwear. A full apology was immediately demanded by the Jewish Council, which was then only delivered sarcastically through a string telephone.

The Church of England is yet to make a formal request for retribution, but preliminary reports suggest they are likely to be ignored.

I won’t be able to keep a straight face if they ask for an apology wearing those silly hats,” Mr. Spert is alleged to have said yesterday evening after half a bottle of Lambrini.