Shadow Minister: Government has “eaten all the pies”

Fri 05 February 2010
By Ross

Parliament yesterday erupted into chaos after a member of the shadow cabinet accused the current Government of having eaten “all the pies”.

Such claims came from the right honourable David Mouse, MP for Taunton’s cider farms, in the light of recent controversy over the number of pies MPs have been eating.

Traditionally, every member of the house would be entitled to a pie every lunch from the Westminster canteen, but documents leaked under the Freedom From Information Act 2004 have shown that most MPs are claiming at least two pies.

It makes a mockery of the whole system,” claims Martin Mocherie, founder of the “Fewer pies, fewer lies” campaign, a frugality and honesty advocacy group.

At a time when pie stocks are at their lowest, these politicians are claiming more pies than they need.”

The system was originally set up in 1968 when the UK elected its first Houses of Parliament representative from Melton Mowbray. It was voted that members of parliament travelling to London from regions where pie consumption was normally higher could claim more than the one statutory pie allowance, which benefitted those coming from the far North and the West Country, as well as the larger members from the Isle of Wight.

However, there have been many calls over the last two weeks for the system to be reviewed due to many members claiming a second pie they arguably do not need.

Steven Kidney, MP for Crawley, defends MPs’ actions, stating that “many members travel some considerable distance to reach parliament and can be very hungry as a result.”

If our politicians are expected both to represent their local constituency and attend parliament, they need to be able to claim as many pies as they need.”

Mr. Mouse, who cannot be named in a normal voice, accuses the current Government of going “too far” and says Britain is in a “real danger” of running out of pies “very soon”.

I fear the current Government is going to go down in history as the one that ate all the pies,” the minister tells WAFTI through a straw.

An official response is to be made by the Prime Minister in the house tomorrow after all the mess has been cleaned up.