Were Vikings the first on the moon?

Mon 10 August 2009
By Ross

The authenticity of 15th century Viking map clearly depicting the moon five centuries before Neil Armstrong’s arrival has been confirmed by a great Dane.

The map has been terribly controversial since its discovery in 1988, at which time it was dismissed as Roman Catholic tomfoolery intended to discredit Christopher Columbus during an intellectual property dispute. Lars Supper, grand commissioner of the Danish Map School, claims that there is no sign of forgery.

We have run extensive tests between games of Cluedo and not once have we seen evidence this was Catholic monkeyshines,” Prof. Supper tells WAFTI via SMS.

The map shows Europe, Greenland and a large, round entity labelled “Møøn”. The drawing is poor, but historians are quick to remind that art teachers were not invented until the Great Depression in the 1930s. Also, the distance between Greenland and what we now know today as the Moon, is totally inaccurate compared to what we can determine by modern GPS.

The settlement of the area has now been linked to the Icelandic sagas of Norsemen under Leif “Sony” Eriksson from around 1000 CE.

Despite these shortcomings, Prof. Supper maintains the map is clear evidence the vikings were the first to send a ship to the moon. However, many killjoy scientists remain sceptics.

Opponents have alledged that the ink used on the map contains a substance known as mayonase titanium bromide, which today is only used in felt-tip pens — something not invented until the 16th century. This has now been disproved in light of recent discoveries showing that Michaelangelo had used felt tips on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

It’s clearly silly; everybody knows Christopher Columbus was the first to discover America,” hints Ronald Watermelon, leading historian and director of Columbus Tours. “Anything to the contrary is just pissing in the wind.”

A British archeologist first discovered the map hanging from a telegraph pole in Basingstoke, Nottinghamshire in 1957. It was then traded to the director of the British Museum in 1965 for a David Beckham “shiny” during a lunch break.

There the map has remained until late 2008, when it was released for study. Professor Lars Supper will present his findings during the Coronation Street advert break next week.